Down...

Well, Annie was here from Monday late late till Thursday early. I don't know if it's just me, but we have all seemed a little down since she left. Josh came down with her to pick up the car.

Yes, that means we are a single car family again. I am excited about this and still needing to adjust. I forget how easy things are with 2. Karate, for example, is while Jeff is still at work. I knew we wouldn't be going this week, because we aren't fully prepared for being with only one car. So, maybe next week will have us going better.

Back to the down, though. I have noticed this before. I think I'm just in a place where I acknowledge that I'm down. I don't force the bright sunshine yellow paint on the clouds around me. This is good, but tough to get through sometimes. I just miss her. So do the boys.

It made it tough, too, that Kade was sad when he awoke on Thursday (having missed the departure of the two he followed so closely for 3 days). It took about an hour to figure out what was wrong. He knew they were going early and that he might not see them in the morning. He was okay with that part. About 30 minutes into his hiding under the blanket next to me he said that Josh had broken a promise. So, for about 5 minutes I kept trying to figure out what promise Josh could have made (maybe even without realizing Kade heard it as a promise) and finally just asked if Kade would let me know when he was ready and able to talk more about it. Kade then asked me to call Josh so Josh could tell me. (For future reference...never agree to do this.) Of course, this sent Kade into a deeper sobbing when Josh didn't have a clue that he had made a promise and then unknowingly had broken the unknown promise. Finally, Kade was mellow enough in his own emotional state to say that Josh had promised to play legos in the guest room with him. I'm sure Josh did say he would play this way...but we ended up spending the last evening coloring together and just hanging with each other. Once I explained that perhaps there was just not enough time to do everything and that Josh didn't intentionally 'break a promise', Kade seemed to accept it and be okay. It did take a bit of talking about how things don't always go as planned and how it's tough to sometimes do everything we wish to do.

We did have a good time...just not long enough for all of us. Thankfully we will be seeing her again soon. In the mean time, we'll have to navigate our emotions together and figure out how to be good to each other. Thankfully I have a Jeff - who takes great care of us - without being asked to. He just seems to know when we are emotionally drained and shows us extra love and kindness. I do love my guy!